FIVE!!

The whole truth and nothing but the truth.

DAY FIVE: SOMETHING YOU HOPE TO DO IN YOUR LIFE

Whoop! You people are in for a treat!! Well, really my brain is. Because I happen to be one of those people who keeps a list of things like this. So I'm just going to type my little list and let you fine folks be inspired by the hopes and dreams of a girl from a small town with oodles of moxie and boat loads of determination.

Did that sound like the back cover of the cheesiest movie ever made?? Because that's what I was going for.

  

1. Watch Breakfast at Tiffany's

2. Witness a heroic act

3. Sing karaoke in public

4. Win a game of Dance Dance Revolution

(the real thing, not the home version)

5. Read top 50 classic books

6. See the Grand Canyon

7. Go to New York City

8. Attend a pub crawl

9. Witness a proposal

10. Take a major fashion risk

(i.e. purple hair, partial nudity, parachute pants, etc.)

11. Change someone's life with a simple act

12. Help a stranger

13. Kiss someone on the first date

14. Take part in a protest

15. Talk to a random stud

16. Watch all the Star Wars movies in a row

17. Train Muggle to do something impressive

18. See a Broadway show

19. Watch a local band in concert

20. Live in a different city

21. Have a romantic picnic

22. Become in tune with nature

23. Hike somewhere or up something

24. Make money doing something I enjoy

25. Attend 5 churches I'm actually interested in

26. Be content with myself

27. Own and know all the Beatles albums

28. Drive to a coast

29. Follow my heart/instincts a la Eat Pray Love and/or Fight Club

30. Keep sense of humor no matter what a la Bridget Jones

31. Find beauty and worth in everything and everyone

32. Practice what I preach in all aspects of life

33. Work for a charity

34. Teach someone a life lesson

35. See London

36. See Ireland

37. Make a decorative pillow

38. Attend a music festival

39. Love someone, holding nothing back

40. Know somebody's darkest secret

41. Have a RomCom moment in real life

42. Fix something on a car

43. Run/walk a half marathon

44. Ride a real train

45. Be involved with a cause

46. Make a dead body chalk outline on a random sidewalk

47. Learn how to skateboard

48. Go to New Orleans

(sub-goal: drunken Marti Gras in New Orleans)

49. Commute via bicycle

50. Get a tan from the sun, not a tanning bed 

51. Go skinny dipping in a public area

52. Impromptu road trip

53. Go camping as an adult

54. Take part in a flash mob

55. Contribute to NPR

56. Finish decorating my home

57. Compile a list of my personal favorite HP quotes

58. Watch an episode of Ghost Hunters and not be scared afterwards

59. Graduate from college

60. Adopt an accent like Madonna

61. Buy an "As Seen On TV" product 

62. Paint a mural

63. Find a practical use for my extensive knowledge of Will Ferrell movies

*I have actually done some of these before, but due to various circumstances have decided to redo them. 

FOUR!

The whole truth and nothing but the truth.
DAY FOUR: SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE SOMEONE FOR

 Okay, so this is probably going to be a total let down and mega lame-ass, but I am not a grudge holding person. I can't think of anything I have to forgive someone for. I am quick to forgive, and I generally believe that people deserve second chances. Maybe that's naive, but that's just how I roll. (word.) I would want someone who cared about me, or even a stranger, to give me a second chance if I needed one. And I wouldn't deserve these hypothetical opportunities if I didn't freely and genuinely distribute my second chances.

 I have adopted this theory of mutual and universal forgiveness over a number of years. It just seems to me that grudge holding is very retroactive. Yes, someone might have done you wrong, but  by dwelling on it and stewing over it and building up more and more anger you're only hurting yourself. How can you grow if you're tethered to your past by anger or anything but memories, experience, and love? I'm sure there's some sort of Native American or Confucian parable about this. It just sounds like the kind of thing those deep thinking fellas would want to teach us about.
 

THREE!

The whole truth and nothing but the truth.

DAY THREE: SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR

I have to forgive myself for not seeing my own worth.   

(Another self esteem issue!) (Gasp!)

And for letting myself crawl into a pit of despair all too often.

 

 But lately I have adopted a new approach.

TWO!

The whole truth and nothing but the truth.

DAY TWO: SOMETHING YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF

I feel very fortunate because I honestly love a lot of things about myself. My eyes, my cooking skills that would put Rachael Ray to shame, my fondness for reading, my extensive nail polish collection, my passion for conspiracy theories, etc. 

But I especially love my (cough-dazzling-cough) personality.

 

 

 I have to say that not long ago this wouldn't have been my answer. But after one of my friends mentioned that that's what was going to have to land me a man due to the fact that my dancing skills are sadly lacking and interviewing for like 4 million jobs I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I am a very lovely person. 

But really, I am very nice and stuff. 

I feel awkward naming all of my personality traits and positive qualities. 

So I'm not going to. 

Ha! 

Add a bit of mystery and suspense!

You know, to keep you coming back... Hard to get and all that...

ONE!

The whole truth and nothing but the truth.

DAY ONE: SOMETHING YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF

I could probably name a myriad of things for this one, but there is one thing in particular about me that is always causing me trouble in all aspects of my life.

 

Fear.

  (Jimmy! Make it stop!!!)

 Not all of my fears are cause for self hatred. Most of them are perfectly rational, prudent even. Fear of heights-natural. Fear of commitment-perfectly normal nowadays. Fear of aliens-just good sense. 

 But it's my fear of things like hurting people's feelings, expressing emotion, standing out, the dark, being vulnerable, looking ugly, change, what people think, failure, flirting, and on and on that seriously make me so mad. 

Example! I was so afraid of trying and failing in my first couple years of college that I completely shut down and didn't try at all. Obviously I ended up failing anyway, but because I chose failure instead of trying and failing I rationalized it as being okay.

Example dos! I stayed in a shitty, loveless, lonely, awful, self-esteem crushing relationship because I was too scared to tell him how I really felt, scared of the changes it would cause if we broke up, the inconveniences on other people, scared of hearing that he was miserable with me too, and scared of having to tell all the people that always know us as an "us" that we were over. 

I could go on for hours, but I shan't. 

The point is, I have to get over this stuff and grow up. I have to become okay with me the way I am and not be afraid of it or the world around me. 

Gotta Bridget Jones this shit! 

So, in closing I make this pledge, adapted from Bridget herself. 

I will not be defeated by my own brain and its ridiculous neuroses. Instead, I choose vodka. And Chaka Kahn.

 

Take Two!

Annnnnd Go.

      So, I feel that a preface is totally unnecessary for this blog restart. As I have only 3 followers and I'm pretty sure you guys are aware of recent life altering events. In a blaze of forgetting-the-past-and-moving-the-fuck-on glory I deleted all of my previous entries. Now I shall start again. Mostly because Scarlett told me to and frankly I have nothing better to do. Hopefully some sort of self discovery will be made. If nothing else, perhaps I will entertain you crazy kids.

Lurrrve, 

Hannah